Gratitude in Leadership: Why Recognition Matters More Than You Think

Recognition Isn’t a Soft Skill. It’s a Control Mechanism.

Recognition is often treated like a personality trait or a “nice-to-have” leadership habit. Something optional. Something you do if you’re naturally expressive or people-oriented...it's not.

Recognition is not about being nice. It’s about control—specifically, controlling performance, behavior, and culture over time.

Whether leaders realize it or not, recognition signals what matters, what gets repeated, and what fades away. Inversely, lack of recognition signals what doesn't matters, what doesn't get repeated, and what doesn't get done at all. To add to this, lack of recognition degrades the culture and morale of the organization.

What Actually Happens When Recognition Is Missing

Leaders usually don’t intend to withhold recognition. They assume good work is obvious, that people are paid to perform, or that recognition can wait until reviews. Though not malicious, assuming an occasional "great job" isn't necessary isn't a good thing.

Engagement Erodes First

When effort goes unnoticed, people stop volunteering energy. Not immediately—but gradually. They still do the job, but they stop pushing, improving, or taking smart risks.

That’s not laziness. That’s feedback. Pay attention.

Trust Becomes Unstable

If leaders don’t acknowledge what’s working, teams start guessing:

• Does this work matter?

• Are standards clear?

• Who actually gets noticed here?

Uncertainty is corrosive and Trust doesn’t collapse loudly—it leaks...slowly.

Retention Turns Transactional

One bad day, even a really bad day, usually doesn't make people leave an organization. They leave when the pattern becomes clear:

“What I contribute here doesn’t register.”

At that point, staying becomes a math problem—and math always wins.

The Myths That Break Recognition

A few persistent misconceptions keep leaders from using recognition effectively.

“Recognition has to be formal or expensive.”
No it doesn't. Timely, specific recognition beats plaques and annual awards every time. It's not about a show, it's about sincerity.

“If I recognize people too much, standards will slip.”
Vague praise lowers standards...think "participation trophies". Specific recognition raises them.

“People should just do their job.”
They do. Recognition isn’t payment—it’s direction. It tells people what to repeat. And more importantly, it signifies appreciation for their work.

“Recognition is a personality thing.”
False. It’s not charisma. It’s a repeatable leadership behavior.

Recognition as a Weekly Control Loop

If you think in terms of metrics, dashboards, or risk reviews, recognition should feel familiar.

It’s feedback. And feedback systems either work—or drift.

Here’s a simple framework I follow as a leader, that I can use weekly without overthinking it.

1. Observe on Purpose

Don’t wait for outcomes. Pay attention to behaviors:

• Preparation

• Judgment

• Ownership

• Collaboration

• Follow-through

If you’re not looking for these, you won’t see them.

2. Be Specific

Generic praise feels hollow because it teaches nothing.

Instead, tie the praise to:

• What happened

• Why it mattered

• What it reinforces

As an example: “You raised that risk early and backed it with data. That prevented rework and set the standard for how we escalate issues.”

Specificity is what makes recognition credible.

3. Choose the Right Channel

Recognition lands differently depending on where it’s delivered. Be mindful of this.

4. Close the Loop

Recognition isn’t complete until it points forward:

“This is exactly how we want decisions surfaced.”

Now it’s guidance and not flattery.

How to Recognize Without Sounding Forced

Most recognition feels awkward when it’s over-scripted or overly emotional.

You don’t need hype. You need clarity. You need sincerity. You need to be genuine.

Here's a simple format that anyone can use:

Observation → Impact → Reinforcement

• What you saw

• Why it mattered

• Why it counts

Professional. Grounded. Real.

Authenticity comes from accuracy, not enthusiasm.

Public vs. Private Recognition

Both matter—but for different reasons.

Use public recognition when:

• The behavior should be modeled

• It reinforces shared standards

• It demonstrates judgment or leadership

• Others can learn from it

Public recognition teaches the room.

Use private recognition when:

• The work was sensitive or developmental

• The person values discretion

• The situation involved recovery or risk

• You’re reinforcing confidence, not visibility

Private recognition builds trust.

Simple rule:
Standards = public
Sensitivity = private

Recognition in Hybrid and Remote Teams

Distance doesn’t break teams. Invisibility does.

In distributed environments:

• Work happens asynchronously

• Effort is easier to miss

• Quiet contributors disappear first

That means recognition has to be intentional.

What helps:

• Calling out contributions during team calls

• Rotating who gets recognized

• Acknowledging process, not just outcomes

• Using written recognition so it lasts

If recognition isn’t built into remote work, it won’t happen by accident.

A Weekly Leader’s Checklist

Before the week ends, ask yourself:

• Did I recognize a specific behavior (not a personality trait)?

• Was the recognition tied to standards or impact?

• Did I choose the right channel?

• Did I reinforce what “good” looks like going forward?

• Did I notice effort, not just results?

If the answer is mostly no, recognition isn’t functioning as a control.

My Final Thought

Recognition and praise isn’t about being nice. It’s about steering performance and culture in real time.

Leaders who use it deliberately enhance the organizational culture. Those that don't just manage outcomes. For me, that just makes you a Manager, not a Leader.